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My position everytime (go back »)

April 22 2008, 12:46 AM

This boy, the apple of my eye, the ketchup to my french fries, how I adore thee. It was strange that we finally became back onto a communicating plane.

I missed him, and it's funny because he just told me that he only got a girlfriend because I told him to. He first thought I was kidding but after a week of my urging began to belive I was serious.

Why must I say things that I really don't mean? What is that? Is it because I want him to be happy and I'm not sure he could be happy with me? No, proposterous, that couldn't be it, because I know damn well that he could be. Why do I put such a low downer on myself and think that I'm not worth it...It can't be low self-esteem.....right......?

5 days ago, I was talking to him and Jeffrey(funny fellow, our new threesome partner), but I had to go because with this grounding I have to read for 30 minutes each day so I told them I had to go and then right after he texted me, because we had been talking about a lot of things, and a lot of things that we had said to eachother, and how of course he totally wants to bone me. And he texted me, something I'll never forget, as long as I stay in love with him, My feelings for you haven't changed......

The next day we were on like a 4 way with me, him, Jeff, and Ashley and it was so amusing. I haven't laughed like that in such a long time. But after it began getting late everyone got off the phone and it was just me and him. Like old times, talking into the the night, trying not to be too loud. Reminiscing about old times.

"Monique is enough. Only enough? No, she's more than enough"

He said he would be very upset if I got a boyfriend, that he would be grumpy, for obvious reasons, and that he would have to stop talking to me for about a month....

If only we could stay in those lingering moments of him and I...

I'll cherish them... until I can have him

In Chaz

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